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Saturday, June 17, 2006

Holy moly!

I need to eat my words and pull this out of retirement, at least temporarily, for the sake of convenience and love.

Today I had a profound metaphysical experience that permanently altered my views on life, the universe and everything (except BMC tools).

This could be the greatest thing to have happened to music since Meerabai.

Step aside, Britney Spears. Step aside, Jessica Simpson. Step aside, all phoney aspirants to the title of pop princess. Because the inimitable Paris Hilton is here!!! Woo-hoo! No, make that Wooooooooooooooooooooooooo-hooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! Paris, baby!!

It gives me great pleasure to observe that highly successful stints in several demanding spheres of life have only served to whet the versatile Paris Hilton's ambitions, where a lesser mortal may have been content with resting on her laurels (or millions). The inspiring Paris Hilton has now decided to take the world of music by storm. LA and Nashville better watch out for Hurricane Paris.

For Martians and other green blobs of slime, the amazing Miss Hilton's dazzling resume boasts of enthralling roles in reality tv shows, perilous sashays on the runway, active participation in (cerebral artsy type) parties and, of course, a critically-acclaimed role in an alternative adult entertainment venture as well(which I must say she portrayed with an aplomb that would put Jenna to shame). The fascinating Paris Hilton, at the tender age of 25, has also topped the ultimate barometer of international celebrity by having a videogame named after her.

Fie on those behenjis who are consumed with jealousy because they are not as talented, as sophisticated, as attractive, as rich or as famous as the breathtaking Paris Hilton! A plague upon those misogynists who cannot reconcile themselves to the idea of a woman doing all that they cannot even dream of!

Anyway, the release of this record-breaking single, amid the gloom of spiralling oil prices and questionable economic growth, had a massive impact on Wall Street. Powered by The Warner Bros. Records stock, Dow Jones shot through the roof (and found itself on seventh heaven, much like the music aficianados fortunate enough to have heard this avante-garde composition).

I once had the temerity to proclaim that I was the third-greatest poet ever in history. I must admit I have ended up with both of my stinking feet in my mouth. If this isn't true poetry, what is? Astounding! Outstanding! Mindblowing!

My favourite lines?

Excuse me for feeling
This moment is critical
Might be me feeling
It could get physical, oh no, no no


I was mightily impressed by the aesthically shot video. The sun-drenched tropical paradise with golden sands and sapphire waters was indeed the sort of message that environmentalists fighting beach pollution had been hoping for from an ambassador of Paris's stature. I was also pleased to note the emphasis on physical exercise which is so neglected these days.

The music itself is quite extraordinary, to say the least. I took a moment to recoil when the full blast of its sheer creativity hit me. The brilliant combination of chords left me in a daze. And when Paris cooed sweet nothings like "I could be your confidante, Just one of your girlfriends" in that mellifluous voice, it was simply overwhelming. Genius! Indeed, the music industry has been set a lofty benchmark that would be impossible to surpass (unless the mesmerising Paris Hilton does it herself).

I have decided to delete all of my mp3s (pirated and otherwise) and cancel my subscriptions. There will be only one song on my machine. There will be only one ringtone on my mobile phone. Because there is only one Paris Hilton. And right now, she has only produced the first of the many gems that are destined to rock the world. Paris! Saubhagyawati bhava!

It is recommended that the Grammys be scrapped this year. The results are a foregone conclusion. Because we know what Paris recorded this summer. Hacks at the NSA overheard Paul McCartney saying this to Ringo Starr: "We're finished."

This is the beginning of the Paris Hilton era. As my humble way of paying tribute, I've decided to introduce idol-worship and rename my ashram as THE PARIS HILTON SHRINE. I will serenade the goddess Paris Hilton with the Stars are Blind bhajan till she deigns to grant darshan to me. Finally, I have discovered the purpose of my life (and I must thank serendipity and the great man's post for setting me on the right track).

Paris...love of my life
Paris...const variable of my volatile memory
Paris...nightingale of my forest
Paris...blood pressure of my loins
Paris...the face that launched a thousand nip slips

Ah, to be the guy in that video. Baba, control yaar. Nahi hota yaar.

Paris Hilton? Holy moly.

Management Class : Meandering thoughts of a fickle mind , News

mental baba 10:11 PM
Did she write the lyrics herself? Isn't she way too rich for that?
For that matter, she's way too rich to song, or to model, or to act, or to do whatever.

To be honest, I really don't know. Their brilliance suggests the obvious though!!
http://houseoffame.blogspot.com/2006/06/shes-yonge-shes-sexie-shes-riche.html

Just for fun ;)
|the alt m| : i must admit, with sorrow, that dyslexia has overpowered all attempts by the title of the post to seduce me.
baba ka katora |