tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-268223922024-03-07T11:57:18.526+05:30Satoma AsadgamayaNot all who wander are lost
- J R R Tolkienmental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.comBlogger115125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-59324888793614766672011-05-07T22:45:00.005+05:302011-10-09T20:55:15.891+05:30A Beautiful MindSometimes I wonder about the world,<br />About the way things have unfurled.<br /><br />Sometimes I theorize on what is right,<br />About whether it is really worth a fight.<br /><br />Sometimes I ask questions of the soul<br />About the relentlessness of its goal.<br /><br />Sometimes I sit down and contemplate,<br />About how hard it is to be truly great.<br /><br />Sometimes I whisper to the setting sun,<br />About a beautiful mind coming undone.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/idylls-of-wannabe.html">Idylls of the Wannabe</a></span>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-2317177986717727812008-08-09T21:51:00.007+05:302012-06-20T10:12:16.326+05:30Signs of Life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
This blog has been dead for long. I really don't know why. There was probably no point in posting.<br />
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But I'm a bit drunk today. I love the incredibly liberating feeling of being drunk. And I somehow felt like stringing together a few lines right now. I watched <span style="text-decoration: underline;">The Dark Knight</span> the other day. I must say it's a heck of a movie. I'm not going to review it. The blogosphere will have much better reviews elsewhere.<br />
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During the movie, at times, I felt like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batman">Batman</a> himself. At times, like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harvey_Dent">Harvey Dent</a>. But, most of all, I felt like the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joker_%28comics%29">Joker</a>.<br />
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Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Why so serious? :-D :-D :-D :-D<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/meandering-thoughts-of-fickle-mind.html">Meandering thoughts of a fickle mind</a></span> </div>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-72442025828490718042007-09-26T21:05:00.003+05:302012-06-20T10:16:11.164+05:30Peaceful Easy Feeling<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men_in_blue">Men in Blue</a>, formerly the <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2006/10/no1-team-of-world.html"><i>No.1 Team of the World</i></a>, have defied all odds. As <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2007_ICC_World_Twenty20">world T20 champions</a>, they now find themselves being deified across the length and breadth of the nation. Theirs is undoubtedly a fantastic accomplishment – one that will be remembered for a while. But the public’s memory is fickle, to say the least. And the Men have a long way to go before they get anywhere near the standards set by the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australia_national_cricket_team">Aussies</a>. Anyway, this is not really about the Men. This is about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cricket">the great game</a>. And the boys. The boys in blue, green, red and myriad <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secondary_colours">secondary colours</a>.</div>
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Although it is now hard to imagine, Mental Baba was once a kid – tallish, skinny and with a big mop of hair on his (back-even-then) sagacious head. In addition to the regular paraphernalia that most boys covet and collect, the Baba possessed a wondrous item of unspeakable powers. If the Baba were <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jedi">Jedi</a>, it would have been known as his <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lightsaber">lightsaber</a>. If the Baba were <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/He-man">He-Man</a>, it might have been called the Sword of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castle_Grayskull">Grayskull</a>. Ah, the raw power! That magical feeling! The very memories! The Baba does not know who made it. The Baba does not know what it was made of. It was certainly not willow (which in those days was wielded only by kids with silver spoons and gold fillings in their mouths). But boy! Could it give the rarely-red cherry a whomping that even the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whomping_willow#Whomping_Willow">Whomping Willow</a> would be proud of or what! </div>
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It was a rainy morning in <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calcutta">Calcutta</a>, sometime in the late 80s. All was damp and depressing, except for the the Baba’s countenance, which had eager anticipation shining through. His penance had resulted in a boon, which he was about to use in a <i>sanctum sanctorum</i>. The Baba stood still, as waves of awe and uncertainty swept over him. So many! Which?! Which one?! “Use the force!” suggested the wizened old man behind the counter, as the Baba set about his task. As he picked up and considered each, the force surged through his arms and into his body. And then, the force blasted through his very being. It was THE ONE! The Baba had found his <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brahmastra"><i>brahmastra</i></a>!</div>
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A category #4 weapon, it was considered small. As were the Baba’s biceps. But together, their destructive power was unrivalled. Glass panes were shattered, plantings were battered, cherry-wielders were left tattered; to the Baba the great <i>astra</i> was the only thing that mattered. If only <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isro">ISRO</a> had known how easy putting objects in geostationary orbits was. Up, up and away! Baba - you beauty! Those heady days! </div>
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Some <i>tan-ki-shakti-man-ki-shakti</i> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bournvita">Bournvita</a> at 4 pm and the Baba would lumber away to the battleground, to join the other boys, with the <i>astra</i> resting against his shoulder. And he, the Dispatcher of Cherries, would return at 6:30 pm, having fulfilled his cosmically destined role with aplomb.</div>
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But something went wrong somewhere. The Baba neither embraced change nor a new and bigger <i>astra</i>. The force gradually started ebbing away. Both the Baba and his <i>brahmastra </i>lost their fearsome powers, eventually becoming ghosts of their former selves towards the late 90s. <i> </i></div>
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The once-great <i>astra</i> still remains, cracked and withered, in an unworthy coffin. Its former wielder still remains too, de-mopped and de-powered, in a wood-and-glass coffin of his own making. The only blade that the Baba now retains is one named <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gillette_Company">Gillette</a>. Which, again, runs contrarian to one of Babadom’s <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beard">cherished existential principles</a>. But that’s how the cookie, or rather Babadom, crumbles.</div>
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It’s raining here. It always does. There’s a bunch of kids playing the great game on the road, in the rain, in their sandals. One of them looks up and sees a face pressed flat against the window...</div>
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Methinks, was this how it used to go?</div>
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<i>Daak. Daak. Kiski daak? <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>Kaun lega <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curtly_Ambrose">Ambrose</a>? Kaun lega <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtney_Walsh">Walsh</a>?<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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I got that all wrong. Why don’t I change it to this –</div>
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<span style="font-style: italic;">Daak. Daak. Office ki daak.</span></div>
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<i>Lega <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operations_management">Operations</a>? Ya lega <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sales">Sales</a>?<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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But, thank you, Men in Blue. Thank you, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahendra_Singh_Dhoni">MSD</a>. Thank you for opening the floodgates and taking all of us where it is so hard to go to. Thank you for returning to the great game, the wonder and the joy that were once part of it. Thank you for this peaceful easy feeling.</div>
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/meandering-thoughts-of-fickle-mind.html">Meandering thoughts of a fickle mind</a></span> <br /></div>
</div>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-11377044212954151122007-09-11T00:45:00.002+05:302012-06-20T10:36:03.760+05:30Close Encounters<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mumbai">Mumbai</a> - the entertainment capital of the country. It’s got <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bollywood">Bollywood</a>, it’s got <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ekta_Kapoor">Ekta Kapoor</a>, it’s got <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mid-day">Mid-Day</a>, it’s got the works. Little wonder that I find myself being fabulously entertained in the city, by the city.</div>
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What better way to start the day than with a king-sized action flick. Hell, I’ve always been a big fan of such movies. <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0082198/">Conan the Barbarian</a>, <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0092675/">Bloodsport</a>, <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0137523/">Fight Club</a>, you name it. On second thought, allow me to name it. Close Encounters of the Mumbai Kind, perhaps?<br />
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There are multiple shows on offer. I usually take the 08:45 am one on most occasions. While this is not exactly for <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karan_Johar">Karan Johar</a> fans, it pales in comparison to some of the other shows (which are only patronized by true connoisseurs of this brand of Mumbai cinema). Contrary to public perception, the show doesn’t always start on time. But when it does, even the sun gets shut out by a mass of humanity, everything goes dim and then there is <span style="font-style: italic;">andhera</span> in the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andheri">Andheri</a> theatre. And the action begins without much ado. It’s mild to start with - just the stifling of breath, the contortions of face, the stomping on of toes and the pumping of blood. As the show progresses, so does the quality of action. 9:08 am is when the shoving, the jostling really begin and challenges are thrown. Forget 3D, forget IMAX. This is the real deal. Experience action the way it was always meant to be - right in the middle of it. Feel the crushing of bones and smell the sweat as it permeates the very air. Ah! Sadly the action starts petering out around 9:15 am, leaving the discerning viewer with nothing other than a sense of anti-climax. Such viewers are advised to attend earlier shows that provide closer encounters of the Mumbai kind. Or procure entry to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Churchgate_-_Virar_Fast_Corridor">shows rated F</a> (needless to say, F stands for Fantastic).<br />
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However, it must be noted that the show is quite egalitarian in nature – tickets to both the balcony as well as the floor end up getting similar service and experience. What a First Class flick!<br />
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For viewers with harder tastes, the horror shows commence in the evening and go on till late into the night. It’s advisable get to an early show. That’s because these evening shows are more popular than <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mallika_Sherawat">Mallika Sherawat</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rakhi_sawant">Rakhi Sawant</a> put together; there’s always a mad rush of people waiting to get in. The action reaches frenzied heights: punches are thrown and skulls are shattered. Challengers are thrown away like rag dolls. Replete with blood, gore and more – the climaxes of these movies are indeed unparalleled. Longer the duration of the show, the better is the climax. That possibly explains why the Virar show is the superhit that it is. In fact, some of these shows can be so absorbing that it almost becomes impossible for the transfixed viewer to leave the theatre (except for those blessed with powers in astral projections).</div>
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Unfortunately there is no romance in these movies because of lots of censorship. Drawing a leaf from the Taliban book of public life, the sexes are segregated to discourage practical demonstrations of the combined effects of <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=xG6WFFo7TGg">Axe</a>, <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=85dcxgRqM90">Wild Stone</a> and <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=CgRWAYJXqOE">Zatak Gold</a> (used liberally by the smart Mumbaikar male). Going by the scenes of writhing bodies though, it seems that love of the <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0388795/">Brokeback Mountain</a> kind is certainly not frowned upon. How admirable and forward-minded! What an excellent measure to check the city’s burgeoning population!<br />
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There is not much of comedy. Viewers who manage to get into the theatre first and occupy vantage spots might disagree with the statement just made. Going by their grins and amused looks, these viewers find these shows to be quite funny.<br />
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The bottomline is that the show organizers have got to be complimented. Tickets are priced well under par. As are <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life">a few other things</a>. The result is an experience which is obviously incomparable. In terms of value for money, nothing beats this set-up. Forget Andheri to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Churchgate">Churchgate</a>. One can go all the way to the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pearly_gates">pearly gate</a>. But that’s only a small part of the bigger picture. There’s so much more to these shows.<br />
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Everyday life in these metropolises is so predictably fast. People hardly get time to do their own thing. Close Encounters of the Mumbai Kind sets a stellar example in this regard. It ensures that people get the physical exercise that they desperately need. A combination of sprints and hurdles help keep the body fit and toned. A healthy dose of gymnastics aids flexibility. A few rigorous bouts of boxing and wrestling go a long way in muscle development and in improving blood circulation. Mountaineering techniques are also employed to train the body in an environment of low oxygen. And then there are a select few who actually get to <a href="http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b7/sunnyrao/trainsurfing.jpg">surf</a> waves of humanity. Hey, slanging matches keep vocal cords in shape too. What better way to start the day than with such an eclectic collection of sports.<br />
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Problems with water supply and a general lack of time ensure that not too many people get to take a bath. Close Encounters of the Mumbai Kind creates an environment conducive to producing copious amounts of sweat, which serves as an alternate bathing medium. Fresh water is conserved and the future of planet earth is safeguarded. The rain gods, always partial to the traditionalists among us, do absolutely no harm by frequently showering show-goers with fresh water. In the process, clothes get washed as well, thus saving many from the clutches of the evil that is <span style="font-style: italic;">dhobidom</span>.<br />
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So there is exercise. There is personal hygiene. There is laundry. There is great use of time. What more may one expect from Close Encounters of the Mumbai Kind?<br />
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Pathbreaking physics (and allied disciplines of science). Mental exercise is just as important as physical, if not more.<br />
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There’s thought-provoking defiance of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operations_research">operations research</a> and the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_constraints">theory of constraints</a>. There is no constraint when it comes to Close Encounters of the Mumbai Kind. Capacity utilization is not limited by time or space. 100% is for <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_York_Subway">other flop shows</a>. It tends to infinity here.<br />
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There’s fluid mechanics. Remember the stuff about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turbulent_flow">turbulent flow</a> being the greatest at the entry and the exit of a conduit? Remember that turbulent flow is initiated when <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reynold%27s_number">Reynold’s number</a> is more than 2000 (in the theatre)?<br />
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There are the principles of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Momentum">momentum</a>. Momentum is directly proportional to the masses..err…mass. Momentum is conserved but energy is not when it comes to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inelastic_collision">inelastic collisions</a>. And boy, are there a few of them or what?!<br />
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There’s <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surface_tension">surface tension</a> and its proportionality to the angle of contact with the surrounding media.<br />
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The most important one, of course, pertains to the transformation of energy. You walk into a Close Encounters of the Mumbai Kind show with a lot of potential energy. It gets converted to kinetic as well as a bit of heat energy. At the end of it, there is only light energy in its purest form as one walks away (in most cases) - well and truly enlightened.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/meandering-thoughts-of-fickle-mind.html">Meandering thoughts of a fickle mind</a></span></div>
</div>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-47360331764862805162007-04-01T10:37:00.001+05:302009-09-03T22:53:33.604+05:30On a Rainy DayMy neglected blog has been clamouring for my attention. If only it knew that the reason for its neglect is not a lack of attention. Rather it is the lack of verbose invention, which is far more difficult than it ever used to be.<br /><br />It had been raining all day for the most part. Puddles of water had formed on the roads in my apartment complex. The clouds had probably decided to take a break; but the leaves were still dripping and the grass was still glistening. The scene was very green, the greenest of all greens. I saw this little kid, no more than two or three, traipsing along with a lady who I assume was her mother. Everytime the kid saw a puddle, her face would light up with wonder and joy. And she would kick at the puddle with her tiny feet and splash the water. Her smile was something the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheshire_cat">cheshire cat</a> would have been proud of. But, just as the cat does, she disappeared as well.<br /><br />I stood there awhile, thinking I might try and drown encumbering thoughts in those tiny puddles. I did not do so. Maybe my shoes were too expensive.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/meandering-thoughts-of-fickle-mind.html">Meandering thoughts of a fickle mind</a></span>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-22677048657392315402007-02-18T04:58:00.001+05:302009-09-03T23:03:48.182+05:30The Clever FoxThe fox was hungry. His belly ached for some good cabbage. Unfortunately there was none in the fridge. So he had some strawberry ice-cream and chewing gum instead. These items, though delectably patable in their own way, sadly failed to smother his cravings for cabbage. The fox then determined to steal some from a patch growing on Brij Bhushan Sharma's land.<br /><br />There was only one problem in the fox's plan - Tommy. Tommy was Brij Bhushan's pet bulldog. He was ferocious and he hated the fox's guts. The fox resolved to outfox Tommy. He disguised himself as an old lady and armed himself with a chicken bone. No sooner did he reach Brij Bhushan's farm than Tommy apparated, growling menacingly. The fox waved the bone invitingly and cooed, "Tommy! Aaa! Aaa!" Thus was Tommy, respecter of old ladies and lover of chicken bones, tamed. He proceeded to munch upon the bone while the fox proceeded to plunder the plot of its juicy tender cabbages. He sold some to the goat and kept the rest for himself. He used the proceeds of the sale to stock up on <span style="font-style: italic;">garam masala</span>, chilli powder and salt.<br /><br />The all-pervasive aroma of cabbage curry wafted out from the fox's cottage that evening. Wisps of it also found their way to Tommy, who surprisingly did not partake of dinner that night. He chewed on the already-chewn chicken bone instead. He was last heard muttering, "<span style="font-style: italic;">Dekh levanga. Tussi dekh levanga.</span>"<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/tall-tales.html">Tall Tales</a></span>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-33466024790797879772007-01-02T04:48:00.000+05:302007-01-02T04:01:44.527+05:30Happy New YearMental Baba and I wish unsuspecting (or mentally-ill) netizens who may have wandered into this unhealthly part of the blogosphere a very happy and prosperous new year. May your lives (and reading habits) take a turn for the better.<br /><br />2007 may very well turn out to be <span style="font-style: italic;">the</span> year. In a step towards making this possible, we have come up with a few resolutions.<br /><br />1) Mental Baba and I will seek help, professional or otherwise, to have at least some of our psychiatric disorders (like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiple_personality_disorder">MPD</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OCD">OCD</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder">Bipolar</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety">Social Anxiety</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megalomania">Megalomania</a>) permanently fixed.<br /><br />2) Mental Baba will not give girls, <span style="font-style: italic;">maals</span> or otherwise, the importance they do not deserve.<br /><br />3) I will not give alcohol, Scotch or otherwise, the importance it does not deserve.<br /><br />4) Mental Baba and I will not watch television or surf the internet unless it be to further our long-neglected financial interests.<br /><br />5) Mental Baba and I will embark on an exercise to re-distribute body mass more uniformly and impartially over our physical manifestation.<br /><br />6) Mental Baba and I will not give cake, from <a href="http://shop.thecheesecakefactory.com/cheesecakesset.html">the factory</a> or otherwise, the importance it does deserve.<br /><br />7) Mental Baba will either walk the talk or shut up.<br /><br />8) I will become the greatest guitarist in history.<br /><br />And devotees, by the way, the <span style="font-style: italic;">ashram</span> has finally given in to the pressures of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Web_syndication">the syndicate</a>.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Satoma Asadgamaya</span>. <span style="font-style: italic;">Tathastu</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/meandering-thoughts-of-fickle-mind.html">Meandering thoughts of a fickle mind</a></span>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-84436112768279647982006-12-30T13:18:00.001+05:302012-06-20T11:11:00.627+05:30A Long Time Coming<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_trek">Star Trek</a> aficiandos will recall those famous words by <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Tiberius_Kirk">Captain Kirk</a> : "Space, the final frontier". I disagree. Space is not the final frontier. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telugu_people">Gult</a> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brahmin">Brahminism</a> is.<br />
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There are <span style="font-style: italic;">homo sapiens</span>. And then there's that remarkable species known as <span style="font-style: italic;">gultus brahminicus</span>. Those who may have had the displeasure of watching <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0292490/">DCH</a> will remember the smart-ass <a href="http://imdb.com/name/nm0451148/">Aamir Khan</a> mouth off "Waise perfection ko improve karna mushkil hota hai" (it is difficult to improve perfection). Here's a piece of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bollywood">Bollywood</a> trivia - he was actually talking about Gult Brahmins.<br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">Gultus brahminicus</span> is where the buck known as evolution stops. Gult Brahminism is the final frontier, if ever there was one.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">History:</span><br />
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In the wake of the decline of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indus_valley">the Indus Valley civilization</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aryans">the Aryans</a> rapidly expanded into the Indian subcontinent and sowed the seeds of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vedic_civilization">Vedic civilization</a>. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Varnas">The Varna system</a>, which was an integral part of the Vedic way of life, facilitated the rise of an elitist class in society - the privileged members of which were known as Brahmins. Now these guys were good but they were nowhere near where modern-day Gult Brahmins are. There are conspiracy theorists who suggest that the metamorphosis of the vanilla Brahmin into the Gult flavour can be traced back to the much-maligned <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cretaceous-Tertiary_extinction_event">KT event</a>. That planetoids from outer space introduced a hyper-intelligent super-resistant species of bacteria to the third rock . That this species eventually morphed into Gult Brahmins. That's a lie. It all started with a group of Brahmins who were humiliated in a game of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gulli_Danda"><span style="font-style: italic;">gulli-danda</span></a>. They fled to the south of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vindhya">Vindhyas</a> and established a new community on the banks of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godavari_River">Godavari</a>,where they assiduously practised <span style="font-style: italic;">gulli-danda </span>for hours on end. A crack team was sent back to exact revenge but they lost their pants, err <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dhoti">panchas</a>, again. Humble beginnings indeed. Gult Brahminism has never looked back since then. By quirk of genetic fate the original Gult Brahmin <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dna">DNA</a> remained confined to the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Y_chromosome">Y chromosome</a>, thus depriving Brahmin chicks of the great freebies that came with it. And it is, therefore, that the principles of Gult Brahminism apply only to Gult Brahmin males.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Habitat:</span><br />
<br />
The majority of Gult Brahmins can be found in lands around the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godavari_River">Godavari</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krishna_River">Krishna</a> rivers in peninsular India. In line with their cherished ideals of free enterprise and free thought, Gult Brahmins have exported their substantial talents to various other places, both within India and beyond. They have been especially kind to New York City, San Franscisco and Dallas/Ft.Worth.<br />
<br />
A sure way to spot a Gult Brahmin would be to head for the nearest engineering college. Many of them can be found in lecture halls by day and in libraries by night.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Physical traits:</span><br />
<br />
At 5'7" and 56.5 kilos, the average Gult Brahmin is a lean mean fighting machine. Once he leaves his fighting days behind, he swells to 72.5 kilos (all of the additional 16 kilos being put on strategically only in one area).<br />
<br />
Many of them are genetically programmed to shed all of their hair at an early age. The ones who aren't, shed dandruff on their shirts instead.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olympic_motto">The Olympic motto</a> was derived from a careful observation of Gult Brahmins. Faster than a Gult Brahmin. Higher than a Gult Brahmin. Stronger than a Gult Brahmin.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Sub-species:</span><br />
<br />
Hardcore - Having been born within the confines of the holy land, <span style="font-style: italic;">the force</span> is strong in them. As pre-ordained defenders of the faith, they unswervingly wear <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moustache">this symbol</a> of their allegiance. They prefer consorting only with other hardcore gults. They are more hardcore than <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hardcore_Holly">Hardcore Holly</a>.<br />
<br />
Pseudo - Since <span style="font-style: italic;">the force</span> is weak in them, they are prone to secessionist thoughts. Throughout their lives, they remain susceptible to the lure of the dark side. Although such activity is usually quelled by hardcoded logic in the worthy Y-Chromosome, few of them do manage to break free. Renegades, as they are known, are terminated by pre-programmed aneurysms. Although the rest follow peacefully in the normal progression of the Gult Brahmin life-cycle, most of them do not pay due respects to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moustache">the symbol</a>.<br />
<br />
The Hardcores and the Pseuds are united in their brotherhood by what is foolishly referred to as the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive_compulsive">Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder</a> by idiots who are not Gult Brahmins. Hyper-hygienic and super-clean, Gult Brahmins have put even <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Howard_hughes">Howard Hughes</a> to shame. They actually bathe everyday for half an hour in hot water with religious fervour. They vacuum their carpets, clean their kitchens, arrange their stuff neatly, iron their clothes and even polish their shoes. Only the dandruff remains an aberration (for the ones with any hair) but it works with Gult Brahmin chicks. There was this Gult Brahmin who almost had a heart attack when some moron sneezed in his kitchen while the <a href="http://www.recipesource.com/ethnic/asia/indian/02/rec0263.html"><span style="font-style: italic;">sambar podi</span></a> was not covered.<br />
<br />
Within these broad categorizations, there are more sub-categories, each one claiming to be better than the other. It really doesn't matter anyway because all of them belong to that most elite of all species - <span style="font-style: italic;">gultus brahminicus</span>.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Dietary habits:</span><br />
<br />
Any Gult Brahmin worth his salt has a digestive system which is designed to process copious amounts of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghee" style="font-style: italic;">neyi</a>. Not only does this help the <span style="font-style: italic;">neyi</span> industry but also unions of cardiac professionals. Any attempts to halt the supply of <span style="font-style: italic;">neyi</span> result in a system shutdown. This incredible digestive design also comes with firewalls that automagically shut out connections from restricted servers belonging to the flesh industry.<br />
<br />
This is how a typical menu of culinary delights would look like -<br />
<br />
Breakfast - <span style="font-style: italic;">Upupindi</span> (with <span style="font-style: italic;">nimakaya</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">neyi</span>), Bournvita<br />
Lunch - <span style="font-style: italic;">Annam</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">Muda Pappu</span> (with lots of <span style="font-style: italic;">neyi</span>), <span style="font-style: italic;">Bendakaya Fry</span> (with <span style="font-style: italic;">neyi</span>), <span style="font-style: italic;">Yeravakaya</span> (with <span style="font-style: italic;">neyi</span>) and <span style="font-style: italic;">Kobarikaya Pachidi</span> (with <span style="font-style: italic;">neyi</span>), <span style="font-style: italic;">Perugu</span><br />
Snacks - <span style="font-style: italic;">Aritikaya Bajji</span>, Bournvita<br />
Dinner - <span style="font-style: italic;">Annam</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">Vonkaya Kura</span> (with <span style="font-style: italic;">neyi</span>), <span style="font-style: italic;">Teeavakaya</span> (with <span style="font-style: italic;">neyi</span>), <span style="font-style: italic;">Perugu</span><br />
<br />
Protein, in any form, is rationed out grudingly. <span style="font-style: italic;">Neyi</span> is not.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Mating habits:</span><br />
<br />
Gult Brahmin mojo, as attested to by the amount of porn they download, is nothing short of legendary. This is how it works. Let's say your neighbourhood Gult Brahmin sees a babe. Now the babe, if she indeed is one, has high potential. In accordance with <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirchhoff%27s_circuit_laws">laws of physics</a> which are so sacred to the Gult Brahmin, electric current is produced immediately. This phenomenon is actually still under research. Because what this also implies is that the neighbourhood Gult Brahmin has low potential (something we know to be a theoretical impossibility). Now everybody knows that Gult Brahmins have balls of iron. And remember that iron is a ferro-magnetic substance. Once again, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amp%C3%A8re%27s_law">with due deference to physics</a>, the Gult Brahmin is instantly <span style="font-style: italic;">transformed</span> into a walking talking babe magnet. The rest of the process is, well, less of physics and more of biology.<br />
<br />
Exceptions are rare. For instance, there was this Gult Brahmin who once boarded a bus at <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nainital">Nainital</a>. A hot chick walked up to him and enquired if the seat beside his was empty (which it was). The Gult Brahmin's eyes popped out of their sockets, thereby breaking his internal circuitry. Because of this unfortunate occurrence, power was not transmitted to his vocal cords. The vocally and mentally crippled Gult Brahmin experienced an instantaneous surge in chick resistance, which prevented flow of current and the benefits that normally accompany it. Sometimes having balls of iron ain't enough.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Hobbies:</span><br />
<br />
Gult Brahmins usually despise real sports of any kind (except <span style="font-style: italic;">gulli-danda</span> of course). They sometimes indulge in a bit of err, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Badminton"><span style="font-style: italic;">shuttle</span></a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gully_cricket"><span style="font-style: italic;">gulli</span> cricket</a>.<br />
<br />
Participation in music, dance or theatre holds no attraction for a Gult Brahmin since most of his quality time is spent fruitfully in watching television (which offers lots of pop music, item numbers and soap operas anyway).<br />
<br />
A Gult Brahmin's genetically-imbibed passion for <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mathematics"><span style="font-style: italic;">Maks</span></a> is well and truly borne out by the burning of the midnight oil in preparation for <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IIT-JEE">IIT-JEE</a>.<br />
<br />
Work, especially if it's <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Information_technology">IT</a> (Where those not fortunate enough to be born Gult Brahmins pursue a trivial hobby like carpentry after an eight-hour workday, Gult Brahmins successfully blend work and personal life at office in a fourteen-hour work-cum-play-day).<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">The Future:</span><br />
<br />
Inspite of growing threats posed by the ever-changing nature of the world, the extraordinary species that is <span style="font-style: italic;">gultus brahminicus</span> remains well beyond the reach of extinction. This can possibly be attributed to arranged marriages. Although this concept did not originate with Gult Brahmins, it has well and truly been institutionalized by their leaders. A time-tested system that works with uncanny precision, it ensures that Gult Brahmins are not obliterated by the rigours of the highly-competitive courtship market. Instead they are directly fast-tracked to Gult Brahmin babes (who're ranked third, behind none other than the sun and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tamil_people">Tam</a> hotties, in the Forbes 100 Hottest Things list). This works out rather well for all the parties. Gult Brahmins pretty much get the best. Gult Brahmin babes get the best. The two copulate and produce more Gult Brahmins, thus preserving their noble line for posterity.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Urban Legends:</span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allen_Iverson">Allen Iverson</a> borrowed his nickname - The Answer - from a Gult Brahmin he had the honour of being acquainted with.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fox_Mulder">Fox Mulder</a> is a Gult Brahmin.<br />
<br />
Gult Brahmins produce testosterone (this is a physical impossibility as laws of chemistry dismiss the possibility of testosterone production from iron. Remember, those nuts are made of iron).<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Notable Quotes:</span><br />
<br />
"I am Gult, Brahmin for Eternity, Defender of the secrets of the Gult Castle, Numbskull. This is Ginger, my topless friend. Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Upanayana">magic thread</a> and said by the power of Numbskull..."<br />
<br />
"Gult Brahminism, the final frontier."<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/meandering-thoughts-of-fickle-mind.html">Meandering thoughts of a fickle mind</a></span></div>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-72600178676972473682006-12-23T07:47:00.002+05:302010-12-05T11:43:16.300+05:30Yo BabaNo sooner did the multiverse-renowned Baba declare grandiose plans to sanctify the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denver">Mile High City</a> with his (omni)presence, than the Colorado state reception committee ended up laying out the, well, <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16298482/">white carpet</a> in an extraordinarily eager (and understandable) attempt to welcome him.<br /><br />Therefore it was with great regret the ascetic Baba announced that he would not be able to make it to the ceremonies planned in the area, in his honour, over the Christmas weekend. Instead of exploring the <a href="http://www.nps.gov/romo/">Rocky Mountains</a> this weekend, the selfless Baba has decided to explore the highly intriguing relationship between enlightenment and mainframe performance optimization. He will also meditate on the first-world's <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irrigation_sprinkler">irrigation (mal)practices</a>.<br /><br />In the meantime, <a href="http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b7/sunnyrao/denver.jpg">the millions and millions of devotees</a> who had lined up to catch a glimpse of the elusive Baba were left befuddled and teary-eyed by this sudden turn of events.<br /><br />The soft-hearted Baba, who was a pseudo-engineer (par excellence) in his time, has promised his fans that it is well and truly the last of their many penances. Once he is done with fixing sprinklers, he will turn an assiduous eye to effecting unprecedented changes in aerospace technology.<br /><br />The scientific-tempered Baba believes in equality - between man and machine. When a man can ski in the state of Colorado, an airplane shouldn't be far behind. Behold!<br /><br />"Denver, this is Frontier 209. Request permission to land."<br /><br />"Negative 209. The white carpet's out on all six runways."<br /><br />"No problemo. We have the Baba's patented landing gear."<br /><br />And voila! The Airbus A340's underbelly opens out with a pair of giant skis! The entire multiverse watches in astonishment as the flying beast skis to a perfect stop!<br /><br />Magnificent Baba! Saviour of the airline industry! Incredible Baba! Protector of tourism! Fantastic Baba! Defender of the helpless! Baba - the phenom! Baba does it again!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/meandering-thoughts-of-fickle-mind.html">Meandering thoughts of a fickle mind</a></span>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-68427650982771531912006-12-08T12:26:00.001+05:302009-10-13T22:29:13.259+05:30Play It AgainI'm tired of writing about the <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2006/11/no1-team-of-world-take-three.html">No.1 Team of the World</a>. I'm pretty sure the four peeps (the only readers of this blog) are tired of reading about it as well. Well you know, the Men in Blue are tired too - which is only to be expected given <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/rsavind/content/story/270912.html">the amount of hard work</a> they have put been putting in of late. Anyway.<br /><br />Since I really don't have anything to write about, I'll sprinkle this post with some links which say more than what I, or anybody who's not a musician, can ever say. I will not attempt to describe the meaning or the magnificence of these songs. Let me just say that I stand on terra firma and look upwards, till I can see no more, in awe and admiration. Such is the magic of this music that it lifts me all the way up to those rarefied heights where it exists.<br /><br />Here it goes, just a miniscule sample of the population, in no particular order, off the top of my head -<br /><br />#<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=8h-pHGCR2a0">A recent discovery</a>. An excellent video which is bettered only by the song. Need to see <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0344510/">the movie</a> sometime.<br /><br />#Since the time I had milk teeth, I have <span style="text-decoration: underline;">a</span><a href="http://www.veoh.com/videoDetails.html?v=e172093SCPcmrEc">bsolutely loved it</a>. One of the greatest songs ever.<br /><br />#<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=EGqyi7zNoIY">This song</a> is unreal.<br /><br />#<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=qHY5_Ve7EVk">An evergreen favourite</a>.<br /><br />#<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=b8mclkwbBOA">Holy moly</a>. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A._R._Rahman">Rahman</a> rocks.<br /><br />#What does one say about <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=tlXmVK7EXzc">this man</a>?<br /><br />#How can any list be complete without <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=eMqo8fNb12Q">these guys</a>?<br /><br />#<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=a5sejcAPXOk">Right out of this world</a>.<br /><br />#If there were an opening for the position of God, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pete_Townshend">Pete Townshend</a> may well have <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=UBs8taB0vWU">first claim</a>.<br /><br />#Most of these songs are about love. <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=BTLE2mjuY9U">But you know...</a><br /><br />To play <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purple_Rain_%28song%29">Purple Rain</a>, with consummate perfection, with my own hands and on my own guitar. Someday. Somewhere.<br /><br />Everything in the world on one side and music on the other. It's got to be music. With the lights turned off. Or maybe with the lights of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gua">Gua</a>, shimmering far away.<br /><br />And, oh yes, with the test matches looming up ahead, the Men in Blue might want to contemplate on the title of this post.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/meandering-thoughts-of-fickle-mind.html">Meandering thoughts of a fickle mind</a></span><br /><br /><a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=UBs8taB0vWU"></a>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-77321198120464395512006-11-26T22:30:00.000+05:302006-11-27T10:48:52.916+05:30The No.1 Team of the World - Take ThreeLike I had mentioned in <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2006/11/no1-team-of-world-reprise.html">my previous post</a>, everybody likes <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_cricket_team">The No.1 Team of the World</a>. But right now it is <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_African_cricket_team">the Proteas</a> who like them the most. <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/rsavind/content/current/story/269891.html">The reason</a> is beyond the obvious.<br /><br />The cricketing gods had long deserted South Africa. As a result, the Proteas <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/rsavaus/content/story/243323.html"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">were</span> mauled beyond recognition</a> by Australia. Moved by their stricken plight, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_cricket_team">the new cricketing Gods</a> (formerly mortal Men) decided to set things right. Judging by recent events, the Gods (formerly Men) have been quite successful in their selfless endeavour.<br /><br />This is what the grand old game of cricket is all about. It's about humanity, friendship, peace and the works. And that's why the Men, nay Gods, are undisputed global ambassadors of the game. They travel all over the world, uplifting downtrodden cricketing nations and resurrecting the self-esteem of ravaged national teams. It is an exercise in nobility the likes of which has not been seen since the times of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Geldof">Geldof</a>'s Live Aid concert.<br /><br />Even a team as evolved as the Men, nay Gods, can sometimes get carried away by the animal instinct of competitive sport. This was reflected in this match when they reduced the puny South African line-up to 76/6 within no time. Fortunately, the Gods (formerly Men) woke up to their actual intent of comradeship and solidarity with the struggling Proteas just in the nick of time. The Gods (formerly Men) then set aside baser goals and quickly helped their opponents reach 274/7.<br /><br />Of all charitable deeds that are regularly performed by the Gods (formerly Men), one really stands out : while the Men, nay Gods, treat the opposition's fast bowling attack with kid gloves, their own <span style="font-style: italic;">fast</span> bowling <span style="font-style: italic;">attack</span> doles out half volleys and full tosses to the opposition's batting at the death, redefining benevolence and munificence in the process. Is there is any other team that can boast of giving away in excess of 100 runs in the last 10 overs of a match with astonishing regularity?<br /><br />India coach <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/4558.html">Greg Chappell</a> cautioned the Men, nay Gods, against getting carried away again during batting. Led from behind by the legendary opening pair of <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/35320.html">Sachin Tendulkar</a> and <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/35263.html">Virender Sehwag</a>, the Men (nay Gods) accomplished their mission with aplomb. They even made a has-been like <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/46774.html">Shaun Pollock</a> look good. Hollywood insiders inform us that the next installment of the <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0117060/">Mission Impossible</a> franchise will feature the impressive Gods (formerly Men) instead of the unimpressive <a href="http://imdb.com/name/nm0000129/">Tom Cruise</a>.<br /><br />Sachin pretended to do a <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/7133.html">Ricky Ponting</a> in attempting to play a pull shot off Pollock. The ball went up in the air, briefly bringing memories of Ponting to the horrified Pollock and his teammates. But instead of sailing over the fence, the ball landed in the quivering hands of an overjoyed fielder called Boozeman or something like that. It was a well-played joke that led to quite a few chuckles and Sachin walked off, quite pleased with his sense of humour. Most of the Gods (formerly Men) stuck to Coach Chappell's words of wisdom except for the captain <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/28114.html">Rahul Dravid</a> and the "new Gilchrist", <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/28081.html">Mahendra Singh Dhoni</a>. There is talk of having them disciplined for contravening the Indian code of conduct. But all's well that ends well. The Men, nay Gods, finished with 168/10. Inspite of their stupendous efforts, the Gods (formerly Men) had to face criticism from some quarters for handing out such a strenuous workout to the hapless Proteas bowlers in uncomfortable weather for all of 41.3 overs.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.nba.com/coachfile/isiah_thomas/index.html?nav=page">Coach Isiah Thomas</a> of <a href="http://www.nba.com/knicks/">the Knicks</a> (the No.2 Team Of The World which has been vying for the <span style="font-weight: bold;">No.1</span> position rather unsuccessfully for a while now) followed the game with keen interest. He is said to have shown a video of this incredible game to his team in order to inspire them to even greater heights of success.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/news.html">News</a></span>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-5555374768596133892006-11-24T05:44:00.000+05:302012-06-20T11:22:36.053+05:30Mental Baba, Stupid Baba<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hey <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amrita_Rao">Amrita</a>,<br />
<br />
How are you doing? Please allow me to introduce myself as one of the millions of admirers that you have across all psycho-temporal dimensions of the multiverse. My admirers (my pot-bellied manager and a family of stray cats I occasionally feed) know me as Mental Baba and I'm a model product of the assembly line also known as evolution.<br />
<br />
Well, I would like to begin by stating what you keep hearing all the time - you are SO beautiful. You are one of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen. And having surfed the internet quite religiously for the better part of my adult life, I have pretty much seen them all. To put it succinctly - I have the HOTS for you.<br />
<br />
Now you are a movie star. You are pretty and rich and famous and all that. But I would like to think that I have a few things going my way too. According to certain peeps, I make stupid money - that makes me a gazillionaire and the multiverse's second richest Baba (after <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahesh_Yogi"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">this quack</span></a><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahesh_Yogi"></a>). According to my manager (the one with the pot-belly), as defender of the 42nd psycho-temporal dimension, I have the most challenging and exciting job in the entire <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milky_way">Milky Way</a> galaxy. According to <a href="http://technorati.com/search/mentalbaba.blogspot.com">technorati</a>, my blog is ranked in the (haw!!) top ONE MILLION - that makes me famous. According to the Greeks, I'm nothing short of a God. So, there.<br />
<br />
It is simply quite impossible for me to stay away from your thoughts. Like the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sirens">Sirens</a> who drew so many to their doom, you draw me towards mine. There I was in my <span style="font-style: italic;">ashram</span>, happy and content, heading towards the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Himalayas">inevitable conclusion</a> of Babahood. And then, you <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0494290/">happened again</a>. Don't get me wrong but I had a hard time sitting through the scenes which did not have you. I had a hard time not thinking of breaking that dork <a href="http://imdb.com/name/nm1372788/">Shahid Kapoor</a>'s head everytime he got cosy with you. I had a really hard time when I looked at you on the screen and realized that you were not just few metres away - but a few light years and rebirths away.<br />
<br />
There's not much else that I can say. Evermore I love you's, but the language, the language - it's leaving me. <br />
<br />
Mental Baba<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/meandering-thoughts-of-fickle-mind.html">Meandering thoughts of a fickle mind</a></span></div>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-75056565365380630672006-11-23T09:54:00.002+05:302012-06-20T11:26:49.247+05:30The No.1 Team of the World - Reprise<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I would like to apologize to my readers (four at last count) for having utterly and miserably failed in <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2006/10/no1-team-of-world.html">my previous attempt</a> to do justice to the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_cricket_team">Men in Blue</a>.<br />
<br />
Reliable sources have informed me that, stung by my pathetic portrayal of their undisputed talents, the Men in Blue decided to put on the kind of show seldom seen in any of the psycho-temporal dimensions of the multiverse. And indeed, they did so <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/rsavind/content/current/story/269299.html">with aplomb</a>. I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to the Men in Blue. As I always am, I was hopelessly wrong. The Men are not, by any stretch of imagination, just The No.1 <span style="font-style: italic;">Team</span> of the World. They are beyond mortal powers of description now.<br />
<br />
The Men in Blue have transcended the mereness and triviality of sport with this spectacular performance. Reliable sources state that, after an emergency session, the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Nations_Educational%2C_Scientific_and_Cultural_Organization">UNESCO</a> decided to include Durban, the scene of the epoch, in the list of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Heritage_Sites">World Heritage Sites</a>. Such has been the magnitude of their feats that there is also talk of adding the Men to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Seven_Wonders_of_the_World">the list of modern day wonders</a>. There is also talk of adding the "new Gilchrist", <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/india/content/player/28081.html">Mahendra Singh Dhoni</a>, to the list of one day wonders.<br />
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The true meaning of the adjective <span style="font-style: italic;">heavyweight</span>, which is quite often used to describe the Indian batting line-up, is finally clear. While some luminaries are heavy in weight, others are heavily weighed down by leaden feet. However, the spirits of the Men in Blue are never weighed down. In fact they rise to atmospheric heights (leaving the body way below), especially when there is a fast bowler at the other end.<br />
<br />
Allow me to let you in on another secret. You know why they were named Men in Blue in the first place? It is said the fearsome Indian batting line-up, for some weird reason, went blue in the face when they had occasion to take guard against the White Lightening <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/44716.html">Allan Donald</a>, the last and perhaps the most classical of all fast bowlers, some years back. Perhaps it was a result of their deep compassion for all fast bowlers - that dying and fast-disappearing breed. Parallels could be drawn from the compassionate Hindu god <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiva">Shiva</a> who ingested poison, his throat turning blue in the process, to save the multiverse from certain annihilation. This probably explains why they are regarded as gods and worshipped by millions, nay billions, of fawning Indians. But really, more than the average Indian, it is fast bowlers across the multiverse who need to worship the Men, nay Gods. In this day and age of <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/7133.html">marauding poachers</a>, if the species of fast bowlers is alive, it is because of the five-wicket hauls that they subsist on. Courtesy the Men, nay Gods, of course. In my personal opinion, what the Gods (formerly Men) do need is not <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Padma_Bhushan">Padma Bhushans</a> but medals from <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Wide_Fund_for_Nature">WWF</a>.<br />
<br />
There is also a school of thought which is of the opinion that the combination of an Indian batsman in blue, a fast bowler with a red cherry in his hand and a green pitch makes for an excellent course in the principles of optics for the millions of Indian schoolkids (a result of all that frenetic copulation) who would otherwise avoid that greatest of all subjects - physics. While fielding or while getting run out, the Men (nay Gods) often disseminate knowledge in physics by demonstrating, rather ably, Newton's equations of motion. Like, v = u + at or v^2 = u^2 + 2aS. The beauty of these equations is well and truly brought out when the ball's final velocity (v) is greater than or equal to 140 kilometres an hour, and even the greatest of all Gods (formerly Men) <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=CnbVh136EIM"> is clean bowled</a>.<br />
<br />
Yoohoo! The way the bails flew!<br />
See that, the batsmen had no clue -<br />
The most excellent Men in Blue!<br />
That they are <span style="font-weight: bold;">No.1</span> is damn true!<br />
<br />
It's just freaking amazing. What a bunch of good-natured blokes! The fast bowlers like them. So do educators in physics. Advertisers and desi chicks (pardon my oxymoron) dig them. Cool!<br />
<br />
It is likely that this effort of mine does no semblance of justice to the Men, nay Gods, AGAIN. But hey, undoubtedly, there will be several more opportunities to correct this shortcoming in the future. Until then.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/news.html">News</a></span></div>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-1162161043021082242006-10-30T02:15:00.000+05:302006-11-01T06:19:09.436+05:30The No.1 Team of the WorldIndia has gracefully exited the <a href="http://iccchampionstrophy.indya.com/">ICC Champions Trophy</a>. <br /><br /><a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/iccct2006/content/current/story/265885.html">In an exhilarating game of cricket</a>, the likes of which not too many teams are capable of, India lost to Australia by six wickets. Defeated - but by no means disgraced. <br /><br />It was a stupendous performance in line with the age-old Indian tradition of <span style="font-style:italic;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hospitality">atithi-dharma</a></span>. India ,being the hosts of the tournament, had an obvious moral responsibility to take good care of their guests. Needless to say, that duty was discharged with aplomb. Also, the phraseology of the tournament name presented a dilemma that had cricket fans all over the world perplexed. <span style="font-style:italic;">ICC Champions Trophy</span>. And not <span style="font-style:italic;">ICC Champion's Trophy</span>. The lack of an apostrophe indicates an inherent entry criterion to participate in the tournament of champions. India's dignified exit served to put an end to that debate as well. <br /><br />The Indian skipper <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/28114.html">Rahul Dravid</a> won the toss and elected to bat first. The legendary <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/35320.html">Sachin Tendulkar</a> was the first to go. Like any good host, he decided to go in order to spare Australia grief while chasing. However he may have been mistaken in his thinking. Because <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/iccct2006/content/current/story/265970.html">history</a> finds it extremely unlikely that he would have put bat to the ball against the Aussie attack on a pitch which was not Sharjah's . With the exception of the captain, who failed to stick to the team strategy, the rest of the batting line-up played their part in ensuring a smooth passage for their opponents into the semi-finals. <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/35263.html">Sehwag</a>'s effort, an ugly product of the law of averages, only belied his real intentions (which was to return to the air-conditioned cool of the dressing room pronto). Anyway the batsmen huffed and puffed their way to 249 - knowing that it would be a walk in the park for any team up against the Indian bowling <span style="font-style:italic;">attack</span>. Some were heard bemoaning the absence of the hype also known as <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/36084.html">Yuvraj Singh</a> - who would have single-handedly ensured that the score did not cross 200.<br /> <br />At this point, one would have imagined that the team's cause - to help Australia win their first <span style="font-style:italic;">Champions Trophy</span> - had been accomplished. But the Indian bowlers had other ideas. They sent down thunderbolts and bouncers which struck terror into the very hearts of the Aussie openers. Fortunately, such was the pace generated by the <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/32685.html">Pathan</a> and <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/32965.html">Patel</a> and <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/34274.html">Sreesanth</a>, that the faintest of edges raced away to the boundary. At the end of 14 overs, the Aussie total stood at 100 something. The turbanator <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/29264.html">Harbhajan Singh</a> joined the party soon after to hand out some lollipops to the run-starved <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/7133.html">Ricky Ponting</a>. Inside sources inform us that Ponting personally thanked Harbhajan at the end of the match for helping him find his form. At the end of a long and tiring day, Australia finally limped its way to 252 after losing all of FOUR wickets in the process. With FOUR.TWO overs in hand. <br /><br />There's nothing quite like a good game of cricket. The Aussies are in the semis - they are happy. The Men in Blue returned to their five-star hotel and had the most scrumptious <span style="font-style:italic;">tandoori chicken</span> for dinner - they are happy. The ICC is said to be considering India for the <span style="font-style:italic;">Spirit of Cricket</span> award in recognition of this selfless performance - they are happy. The television ads were sold at a premium - the broadcasters are happy. Everybody is happy. The BCCI president Sharad Pawar is the happiest (although nobody knows why) - he was seen grinning from ear to ear at the presentation ceremony. <br /><br />It was only spectators who were not happy. The Indian batsmen despatched so many sixers into the stands and the Indian bowlers kept assisting the Aussie batsmen in sending the ball over the ropes so many times that the physical safety of the audience was threatened. In vain did they try to draw attention to their plight by chanting "Hai! Hai!" Unfortunately, with the Indian team being caught up in the passion of purpose, their pleas fell on deaf ears. Needless to say, it didn't take too long for the stadium to empty out. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/news.html">News</a></span>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-1161664091030730682006-10-24T09:33:00.000+05:302006-10-24T10:10:47.473+05:30fsck -p /<span style="font-weight:bold;">mental.baba@blogosphere$</span>pwd<br />/usr/3rdrock/usa/tx/sat<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">mental.baba@blogosphere$</span>ps -ef | grep bin <br /> 4048 pts/0 20:00:04 /bin/slowdecay<br /> 4409 pts/0 21:01:17 /usr/bin/thralldom/71141<br /> 5082 pts/0 21:04:55 /usr/bin/metalove<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />mental.baba@blogosphere$</span>kill 4048; kill 4409; kill 5082 <br />Cannot kill pid 4048. Permission denied.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">mental.baba@blogosphere$</span>su<br />Enter password:<br />Incorrect password<br />Enter password:<br />Incorrect password<br />Enter password:<br />Incorrect password<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">mental.baba@blogosphere$</span>tar -cf truth.dat peace.dat justice.dat | gzip imagination.tar.gz<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">mental.baba@blogosphere$</span>mv imagination.tar.gz $HOME <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">mental.baba@blogosphere$</span>gcc -o baba.c<br />segmentation fault: core dumped<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">mental.baba@blogosphere$</span>file core<br />@#^&*$#!@&(%4#22d!~``[+%j)@^.m?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">mental.baba@blogosphere$</span>emacs baba.c &<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">mental.baba@blogosphere$</span>r gcc<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">mental.baba@blogosphere$</span>./baba.out<br />Hehehehe!!!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">mental.baba@blogosphere$</span>cd<br />/home/ptd/42<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">mental.baba@blogosphere$</span>whoami<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />mental.baba@blogosphere$</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">mental.baba@blogosphere$</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">mental.baba@blogosphere$</span>echo $PATH<br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">mental.baba@blogosphere$</span>rm -f imagination.tar.gz<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">mental.baba@blogosphere$</span>logoff <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">>_</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/meandering-thoughts-of-fickle-mind.html">Meandering thoughts of a fickle mind</a></span>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-1161487920154702582006-10-22T09:00:00.000+05:302012-06-20T11:34:08.147+05:30TKO<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="http://msnbc.msn.com/id/15355054/">Mike Tyson is back.</a> Not quite with a bang though. Once the baddest man on the planet, he is now the saddest man. He was once known as Iron Mike but all that iron seems to have rusted. Formerly the undisputed heavyweight boxing champion of the world, now a spent force in the eyes of the very community that once adored him. <br />
<br />
He's been a champion of his sport. In addition to boxing the ears of his competitors, he has bitten them off as well. His resume not only boasts of a number of knockouts but also an equal number of run-ins with the law and stints at the slammer. <br />
<br />
But enlightenment seems to have dawned on the man who, at the time of his last <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mensa_International">Mensa</a> test, had the IQ of an <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anopheles">anopheles mosquito</a>. <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15024389/">He has finally realized that he is useless to society</a>.<br />
<br />
I beg to disagree. He still has a lot to offer to civilization. He has great prospects in a new and exciting profession : stand-up comedy. He could make people split their sides laughing simply by standing up in front of them. If the mere mention of his name or the opening of his mouth doesn't do the trick, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:TysonMugshot.jpg">that grotesque facial tattoo</a> definitely will.<br />
<br />
Don't believe me? Get a load of <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=f6cFxWgLqHA">this</a>. Priceless!!! Me TKOed.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/news.html">News</a></span></div>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-1161237820688778932006-10-19T09:33:00.001+05:302010-12-05T11:50:16.492+05:30Nothing Noble about the NobelThe <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nobel_prize">Nobel prizes</a> for 2006 were announced recently. In yet another stunning show of ritualized and brazen effrontery, Mental Baba's claims to the honour were rebuffed again by the atrocious designs of the Nobel Committee. And this is the same Mental Baba whose <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2006/06/arrey-baba.html">pathbreaking achievements in science</a> and <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/08/to-sacred-rinsing-of-tonsils-and-holy.html">remarkable accomplishments in literature</a> are quite extraordinary to say the least. His <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2005/05/then-there-was-binary.html">passion for world peace</a> and <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2005/08/national-economy.html">penchant for macro-economics</a> have spawned ideas and ventures which have made the world a better place to live in. The Baba being the savant that he undoubtedly is, recognition and limelight is not important. Only the 1.4 million dollars is.<br /><br />However, it pains the selfless and noble Baba to see <a href="http://msnbc.msn.com/id/15319541/">quality research</a> being ignored, time and again, by the unbelievably idiotic custodians of the prize. The Baba would like to demand an explanation from the motley bunch of heretics engaged in desecrating Nobel's name as the years goes by. How could <a href="http://www.pacificu.edu/as/biology/faculty/DavidScholnick.cfm">the progenitor</a> of this incredible study, unparalled except by a pair of parallel lines perhaps, be ignored?<br /><br />Consider the thrust of that gentleman's most enterprising endeavour:<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">"The central hypothesis underlying my research is that infectious disease can compromise the respiratory systems of lower vertebrates and invertebrates and thereby limit the ability of animals to sustain and recover from normal activities."</span></span></blockquote><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Infectious diseases can compromise respiratory systems? And limit the ability of animals to sustain and recover from normal activities?</span><br /><br />Mon Dieu! Magnifique! Exceptionnel! This has got to be the greatest thought process that originated in a human mind since <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_darwin">Darwin's</a> Theory of Evolution. And, if I may add, it proves that theory right as well.<br /><br />Which brings me back to my original point - the phoney and ridiculous Nobel Prizes. How could they overlook this incredible effort which could have fitted into any one of the six categories with absolute ease?<br /><br />#1 Physics - <a href="http://www.livescience.com/php/video/player.php?video_id=shrimpActivity">The treadmill</a>. Ah, the treadmill. Not only is it an engineering design worthy of comparisons with the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nutcracker">nutcracker</a>, but it has scripted a new and glorious chapter in the annals of nanotechnology. Not to speak of the exciting discoveries in the field of hydrodynamics that come free with it. <br /><br />#2 Chemistry - The rigorous exercise regime followed by all shrimps will keep them in top shape. This is most desirable for the physiological (and psychological) well-being of the shrimp fraternity as it can catalyze their chemistry with members of the shrimp sorority(and therefore populate oceans of the world with shrimplings, much to the delight of seafood connoisseurs).<br /><br />#3 Physiology and Medicine - The revolutionary techniques being used in this experiment would undoubtedly lead to pathbreaking cures for the various medical malaises plaguing modern society like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dengue">dengue</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chikungunya">chikungunya</a>.<br /><br />#4 Literature - The thesis of this most astounding undertaking would top the charts in the New York Times' bestsellers list any day of the week (including Monday).<br /><br />#5 Economics - Thanks to this inspiring work, the seafood industry will find itself in a position to produce healthier and tastier shrimp. And sell them at a premium of course. This will have a domino effect in the pan-food industry, thus leading to higher wages (and hence better standards of living) for its employees across planet earth, from Uganda to East Timor. Consumers will also get more protein and monounsaturated fats for their buck, thus increasing their productivity and economic output. <br /><br />#6 Peace - Increased economic stability will have a positive impact on crime rates and minority alienation. Islamic extremists will get suitable employment. They can spend their time fruitfully in cutting off shrimp-heads in seafood processing plants and be happy. <br /><br />I can almost hear Alfred Nobel turning in his grave. Dunno why.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/news.html">News</a></span>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-1160718751040793892006-10-13T10:09:00.000+05:302006-10-13T11:25:48.670+05:30SummerSummer has gone - <br />To distant lands.<br />Leaving these<br />Shores and sands.<br /><br />Summer has gone -<br />It sailed away.<br />Like a voyager<br />O'er the blue bay.<br /><br />Summer has gone - <br />To burn elsewhere.<br />Rivers won't shrink<br />Under its glare.<br /><br />Summer has gone -<br />Away to the south.<br />The rains are come<br />To end the drought.<br /><br />Summer has gone -<br />There was no goodbye.<br />It just disappeared.<br />Only the clouds cry.<br /><br />Summer has gone - <br />But winter will come,<br />Cold and windy,<br />With brandy and rum.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/idylls-of-wannabe.html">Idylls of the Wannabe</a></span>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-1160624545298354932006-10-12T07:07:00.001+05:302010-12-05T11:51:27.209+05:30Arrey Mathiao!Let me begin by apologizing, in profusion, to those enlightened souls who may not have had the good fortune of growing up in the barely-intersecting <span style="font-style: italic;">intersection</span> sets of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venn_diagrams">Venn diagrams</a> representative of certain popular languages of India. This post is not for you.<br /><br />When I was a kid, all eager and curious and enthusiastic about learning new stuff, language always held great attraction for me. Language - irrespective of origin. I would ask my neighbours and my friends all sorts of questions about the various languages they'd speak at their homes - Bengali, Oriya, Marathi , Tamil, even Hu, what not. <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=T5e90TdGmWU">The song</a> from <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0084199/">Khuddar</a>, with its catchy lyrics describing the common refrain of love-struck Romeos in just about every Indian language, was always a big favourite of mine. Ah, the joys of trying to decipher the meanings of strange tongues and to recreate them! And oh! The innocent joy of watching <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parveen_Babi">Parveen Babi</a>.<br /><br />Being a fake <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telugu_people">gult</a> born and brought up on the very extremity of the Hindi heartland came with its own set of linguistic pros as well as cons. There were three languages that I could speak with some measure of proficiency and intelligibility - English, Hindi and Telugu. I will not risk being lapidated in <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T._Nagar">Panagal Park</a> by attempting to add my version of Tamil to this limited roster which, most unfortunately, could never get any additions on account of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleeping">subtractive preoccupation</a> for the most part of my storied life.<br /><br />Anyway, back home in India, I would probably be regarded as a good speaker of English . But that wouldn't be quite the case in the world west of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prime_meridian">Prime Meridian</a>. Similarly, I might be considered a fair speaker of Telugu among the substantial population of fake gults around the third rock from the sun but I'd certainly come a pretty big cropper within the confines of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andhra_pradesh">gultland</a>. Which brings me to my last and only hope - Hindi. Here again, I was dealt a rude shock today when I realised that my colloquial Hindi wasn't really how it is actually meant to be. And that the only glimmer of hope for me lies in <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C%2B%2B">C++</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JCL">JCL</a>. <br /><br />I had been walking back from office with a pure-blood from New Delhi. It had rained intermittently throughout the day and the roads were wet. We pretty much stuck to the sidewalk, careful enough to keep our <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hush_Puppies">Hush Puppies</a> clean and shiny (and I might add that he was holding up the ends of his trousers quite daintily as well), until we arrived at a short-cut to our apartment building. A short-cut which would take us through sloshy grounds and inevitable grief.<br /><br />I cast my eye over it and remarked, quite innocuously, "Arrey kitna kaadaa hai!" The pure-blood, who had been eyeing the mud distastefully, now turned his eyes (and perhaps his distaste I daresay) to me, a mud-blood. "Huh? Kya kaha?" (connoisseurs, especially the ones of New Delhi fame, will note the <span style="font-style: italic;">kya kaha</span> instead of the humble <span style="font-style: italic;">kya bola</span>).<br /><br />Being deprived of the kind of IQ that comes naturally with a brain nourished by pure blood, I replied without thinking, "Kitna kaadaa hai na?"<br /><br />"What <span style="font-style: italic;">exactly</span> you do mean?" said he, of the New Delhi lineage, in a tongue tempered by the purest of blood flowing through the millions and millions of its well-fed capillaries.<br /><br />Like a little boy in a Hindi classroom manned by a ferocious guardian angel of the ancient language, with my fingers nervously clasped behind my back, I mumbled and bumbled, "Kaadaa. You know, kaadaa. All that mud. And all that muddiness. Kaadaa." <br /><br />He looked at me for a few moments before magnanimously allowing a smirk to creep up that wonderfully chiselled face that is so unique to gentlemen hailing from New Delhi. He sort of decided to take the longer route I guess. Before leaving me to contemplate upon the vast expanse of <span style="font-style: italic;">kaadaa</span>, ahem, slosh that lay ahead of me, he remarked, "So you mean <span style="font-style: italic;">keechad</span>?"<br /><br />Ah! Keechad! Really, there's nothing worse than dirty language. I'm going to have my dinner in a few moments. And I wonder if the <span style="font-style: italic;">chattu </span> is <span style="font-style: italic;">jhaal</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/meandering-thoughts-of-fickle-mind.html">Meandering thoughts of a fickle mind</a></span>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-1159767736001951912006-10-02T09:31:00.000+05:302006-10-02T11:30:01.430+05:30Hip! Hip! Hurray!The unthinkable has occurred. No, the blindingly white-hot <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paris_Hilton">Paris Hilton</a> has not written a doctoral thesis titled <span style="font-style:italic;"><a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14332794/from/RS.4/">Kinkajou</a> Mood-Swings : Effect on Solar Storms</span>.<br /><br />Mental Baba has finally managed to do what he never could in all those years of playing <span style="font-style:italic;">gulli</span> cricket with tennis balls - hit a century. A incredible century of posts in that most magnificent of venues - the Stade de Blogosphere. In front of gazillions and gazillions of starry-eyed fans chanting "Baba! Baba!".<br /><br />In this new-fangled game called blogging, usually played by peeps who have nothing better to do in real life, Mental Baba has proved himself an outstanding example as a player with a difference.<br /><br />He had trudged to the crease about two and a half years ago as a rookie playing for the combined team of Truth, Peace and Justice. Technically accomplished but temperamentally suspect, he was not really considered a very smart selection by many (except the opposition).The Baba was essentially a <span style="font-style:italic;">touch</span> player, relying more on a deft flick of his wrists than opening his shoulders up for the big shots. His forte was the <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/idylls-of-wannabe.html">soft silken game</a> generally disliked by spectators. He did not have the daring cuts, the booming drives and the outrageous pull shots of the natural strokemakers. <br /><br />So the Baba found himself on a queer pitch, being dominated by quicks swinging and seaming the ball around quite wickedly. But he saw other players hit huge shots into the stands and race to their centuries and more. <br /><br />He did what any good Baba would do: he grafted in a way that would have done a <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/9187.html">Geoff Boycott</a> or a <a href="http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/28794.html">Sunil Gavaskar</a> proud. He limped and staggered towards the magic three figure mark. <br /><br />Every run is a struggle. It gets harder and harder as the match progresses but, well, he's still batting. <br /><br />Asked for a comment, the late <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Bernard_Shaw">George Bernard Shaw</a>'s spirit (which now inhabits the body of a garden lizard in south Texas) was heard to exclaim: "Blogging is a game of uber fools, played by uber fools and watched by uber fools." Damn! Some peeps never change, do they?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/meandering-thoughts-of-fickle-mind.html">Meandering thoughts of a fickle mind</a></span>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-1159153304276285242006-09-25T07:36:00.000+05:302012-06-12T23:49:13.452+05:30A Pseudo-Engineer's Quasi-Experiment<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Objective :</span> To dissect female psychology.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Apparatus :</span> A razor or, alternatively, Mental Baba's shit, errr, wit. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Procedure :</span> <br />
<br />
# Select a specimen from the amazingly miniscule <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0168590/">TDH</a> subset of desi(*) men e.g. <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/7475724">this 'gentleman'</a><br />
<br />
# Put him in a roomful of attractive women.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Observations :</span> <br />
<br />
# Room empties faster than a bottle in front of Mental Baba.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Inference :</span> <br />
<br />
a) The 'gentleman' in question has not had a bath since the last solar eclipse,or<br />
b) Somebody's handing out <a href="http://www.prada.com/">Prada</a> or <a href="http://www.gucci.com/">Gucci</a> for free in the next room,or<br />
c) It's a matrix designed by a raving feminazi,or <br />
d) The women are all idiots.<br />
<br />
As theoretical impossibilities (and the aforesaid 'gentleman''s wrathful indignation) precluded options (a), (b) and (c), only (d) remained as the most plausible option. In line with the rigour associated with scientific proofs, option (d) was put to an acid test. I mean, c'mon, we don't run Mickey Mouse operations at Mental Baba's.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;">//A Mini Experiment<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Reagents :</span><br /><br />Base : Select a specimen from the ridiculously large !T!D!H set of desi men e.g. Mental Baba (they don't come any baser than this entity, do they?)<br /><br />Acid : A roomful of attractive women<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Procedure :</span><br /><br />Reaction : Acid + Base = Salt + Water<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Observations :</span><br /><br /># The women emptied out in a jiffy again, this time in precisely 32.055% of the time it originally took them.<br /><br /># Only salty water remained behind as a product of the irreversible reaction. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Inference :</span><br /><br /># Oh, so that's what they mean by a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neutralization_reaction">neutralization reaction</a>.<br /><br /># NOT ONE of the women is an idiot.<br /><br />Therefore, option (d) (Mental Baba's favourite) stands rubbished.</span><br />
<br />
//<br />
<br />
An interesting dilemma. How may this be explained? Well.<br />
<br />
Perhaps the 'gentleman' in question would like to take a look at <a href="http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b7/sunnyrao/165c28908970012eb067001dd8b71c47.gif">this</a>, Unless he'd like to look for a <span style="font-style: italic;">behenji</span> instead.<br />
<br />
PS: <a href="http://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine">Pearls Before Swine</a> <span style="font-weight: bold;">BLOODY ROCKS</span>!!!<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/meandering-thoughts-of-fickle-mind.html">Meandering thoughts of a fickle mind</a></span></div>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-1158899668282070742006-09-22T09:55:00.000+05:302006-09-22T10:16:06.953+05:30To a new tomorrowGo get them tiger! Vamos!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b7/sunnyrao/ctigerthumbsupcutout.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b7/sunnyrao/ctigerthumbsupcutout.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/meandering-thoughts-of-fickle-mind.html">Meandering thoughts of a fickle mind</a></span>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-1156473561253071352006-08-25T06:52:00.001+05:302010-12-05T11:53:10.239+05:30Obituary<a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14489259/from/ET/">Pluto's not good enough</a>. That's what some really smart guys, with a few PhDs and a few international awards in between them, have concluded. Learned guardians of the great science that they are, I'm sure their logic cannot be faulted. Therefore, I will not attempt to comprehend or to analyse the decision. <br /><br />What I do know is that my parents once bought me an expensive book, titled <span style="font-style: italic;">Space</span> and written by a gentleman named Robin Kerrod, that had a great many fascinating photographs as well as descriptions of the deeps beyond the imagination of a ten year old. It listed a tiny planet called Pluto as the ninth and smallest planet of the solar system.<br /><br />Pluto was my favourite planet. Because it was the smallest. Because it was the farthest from the sun (at least most of the time). Because it was the youngest. Last but not the least, because I identified it with <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pluto_%28Disney%29">Disney's Pluto</a>. But now , they say it is not a planet anymore. It's just another lump of rock whirling aimlessly in space.<br /> <br />Everything that Little Baba's books said was wrong. Everything that Little Baba's teachers said was wrong. The learned guardians must be right. Because the books and the teachers were wrong about lots of other things as well.<br /><br />So goodbye, Pluto. Like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pluto_%28mythology%29">the god</a> you were named after, may you rest in the nether world of abstruse science and popular culture. <br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Space, the final frontier</span> - that's what one of Little Baba's heroes, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean-Luc_Picard">Capt. Jean Luc-Picard</a>, would always say. Little Baba would watch starry-eyed, as the heroic captain commandeered the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Enterprise_%28NCC-1701-D%29">USS Enterprise</a> to boldly go where no one ever went before. But Pluto, you were always the final frontier of the solar system. You were the sentinel who would zealously guard our home. Unfortunately, you are small. And size does matter. So it didn't quite work out.<br /><br />I remember Little Baba used to say that he wanted to be a learned guardian someday. Maybe he could have stood up for you. But you know something, it doesn't matter. You are no longer a planet. And he is no longer a star.<br /><br />I know this is a pathetic obituary for an old friend but...<br /><br />PS : I wonder where <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voyager_2">Voyager 2</a> is. Did he even stop by to say hello?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/news.html">News</a> , <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/meandering-thoughts-of-fickle-mind.html">Meandering thoughts of a fickle mind</a></span>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-1156104038794175142006-08-20T23:10:00.000+05:302006-11-27T11:04:16.233+05:30The No.1 Director of the World<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karan_Johar">Karan Johar</a>, film-maker extraordinaire, is back with a bang. In fact, it would be a travesty to call it just a bang. It's a gang-bang really. Like you know, when a gang from <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bollywood">Bollywood</a> teams up (rather effectively) to bang the living daylights out of an average joe. Like you know, when each and every one of them takes turns, just to make sure average joe gets more than just a good return on his investment. I can't think of too many better ways to spend ten dollars (unless it be to watch one of Johar's <a href="http://imdb.com/name/nm0424103/">other cinematic achievements</a>).<br /><br />The movie, which is in reality a vehicle to attain the kind of zen even <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dalai_lama">the Dalai Lama</a> can only hope for, begins with dramatic moments that would make <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0120755/">MI2</a> look pedestrian - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shahrukh_Khan">Shah Rukh Khan</a>, the King Khan , putting <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zinedine_Zidane">Zinedine Zidane</a> to shame. He enthralls tens of thousands of cheering New Yorkers with his artistry and his power on the football field (as he does on the silver screen) before some dimwit fells him to the ground. King Khan then prepares himself for the penalty shot (and inevitable victory) by flexing his forearm tattooed with the word VICTORY (surprise! surprise!) and affixing a look on his face that would have made <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lev_Yashin">Lev Yashin</a> piss in his pants. What happens next is now cinematic history.<br /><br />King Khan lands a contract worth FIVE MILLION dollars. By freak co-incidence, his hot wife <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preity_Zinta">Preity Zinta</a> also lands a top honcho position at Diva - New York's pathetic answer to <a href="http://www.feminaindia.com/">Femina</a>. What a happening couple, right? But then the proverbial <span style="font-style: italic;">hadi in the kabab</span> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rani_Mukherjee">Rani Mukherjee</a> steps her rather large bong arse into the pretty picture, moments before she is about to be married to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abhishek_Bachchan">Abhishek Bachhan</a>. King Khan and Rani, complete strangers, have a thoughtful discussion on love and marriage with Khan at his humorous best, sending desi girls in the audience into peals of laughter. Khan's enlightened insights on life prevail upon Rani. Consequently she proceeds to the <span style="font-style: italic;">mandap</span> while Khan proceeds to what I presume was the signing of his multi-dollar contract. Unfortunately, a career that might have culminated in a glorious head-butt, ends in a chewing gum accident (which may have been engineered by a jealous <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pele">Pele</a>) and Khan's magic foot is lost to the world of football forever. Never before have the first few minutes of a movie captured my imagination as this did.<br /><br />This motion picture also boasts of the considerable presence of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amitabh_Bachhan">Amitabh Bachchan</a> who portrays the role of a millionaire playboy to perfection. His very first scene shows him with a scantily-clad bombshell, a pair of handcuffs and a broken bed. When Abhishek wonders as to how the bed was broken, Amitabh comes up with this gem of a Karan Johar one-liner : "<span style="font-style: italic;">Bete tumhe bhi kisi din sikhaunga</span>" or something like that (Son, I will teach you how to do that someday). In various other scenes (put together for comic relief I suppose), he appears with nubile nymphs of different hair colours, whispering sweet-nothings into their ears. Samarjit, or Sam as Amitabh is known in the movie, also describes the fat-arse <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirron_Kher">Kirron Kher</a> as "definitely <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chandigarh">Chandigarh</a>". This movie is "definitely Karan Johar". Only the directorial prowess of somebody like Karan Johar could have transitioned Amitabh's image from that of an <span style="font-style: italic;">angry young man</span> to a <span style="font-style: italic;">horny old man</span>. A few more ventures with Johar & Co wouldn't do Amitabh's legacy any harm.<br /><br />Anyway, the movie moves onto an interesting and poignant storyline that has King Khan and Rani locked in unhappy marriages. The hot Preity is wedded to her work as a high-profile businesswoman who will only celebrate when her magazine becomes <span style="font-style: italic;">No.1</span> (in Baba's blog?) and has no time to tousle Khan's dandruff-free hair and pamper him with erotic massages. Abhishek has lots of time for Rani but she does not have time to spare from her busy schedule of vacuuming the house, doing the dishes and laundering her lingerie (although she does once ask Abhishek to take his pants off so that she might subject them to the preferential treatment normally reserved for her panties). In the meantime, you have Amitabh redefining Casanova with aplomb and Karan Johar redefining cinema with more than just aplomb.<br /><br />In a moment of blinding originality, King Khan and Rani bump into each other when both mistake each other for the <span style="font-style: italic;">Black Beast</span> - a serial child kidnapper loose in Manhattan. The athletic King Khan shows excellent baseball pitching prowess in flooring Rani with a direct hit (not that he hadn't had her floored already with his drop-dead looks and razor wit). One thing leads to another, resulting in Bollywood's answer to <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0250797/">Unfaithful</a>. In a bold and titillating display never seen before in Indian cinema, Khan and Rani set the screen on fire the way <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diane_Lane">Diane Lane</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olivier_Martinez">Olivier Martinez</a> could only have wished for. The close-up shots of King Khan's tits were especially aesthetic and had Karan Johar written all over them.<br /><br />Rani and Khan's extra-marital fling comes to a sudden end when both of them are kicked out by their stone-hearted spouses (especially Preity who has the gall to turn Khan down when he magnanimously offers her one more chance). <span style="font-style: italic;">The No.1 Casanova of the World</span> Amitabh Bachchan too succumbs to the frailties of old age and intense physical activity. Why it comes to a sudden end is still a mystery that may need to be investigated by the FBI. Instead to getting together and having some more fun, the twain go separate ways after lying to each other about their broken marriages.<br /><br />Just as desi girls in the audience were on the verge of emotional breakdown at this sad turn of events, Karan Johar did a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Javed_Miandad">Javed Miandad</a> in hitting a six off the very last ball of the desi attack. In yet another masterstroke, he had Rani chasing after King Khan in the closing moments of the film. It was an avante-garde move that will resound for years in Hindi cinema - the heroine chasing after the hero in the climax. And that too, in a railway station. Who would have thought that Johar of the Vanderbiltesque mansions and Ferraris fame would come down to the level of the plebeians in the audience. Astounding! What a happy ending for the two lovebirds! And for the desi girls in the audience!<br /><br />This thought-evocative movie truly establishes Karan Johar as a titan among movie directors, past or present, Bollywood or Hollywood or *wood. King Khan adds another gem to his bejewelled crown. Rani reiterates her credentials as the hottest bong babe in history (I'm sorry <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipasha_basu">Bips</a>). Abhishek and Preity cut sorry figures, unlike Amitabh's girlfriends.<br /><br />This was not a review, only Baba's view. Because, review = re + view. This is a mathematical impossibilty as a re view of this Joharian endeavour would result in Baba's intelligence dividend being divided by zero. <br /><br />I have only one thing to say : Karan Johar, Bollywood ko Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/news.html">News</a></span>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26822392.post-1155522013121122922006-08-14T05:42:00.002+05:302010-12-05T11:55:18.688+05:30The No.1 Celebrity of the World<a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2006/06/holy-moly.html">As I have attempted to indicate in the past</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paris_Hilton">Paris Hilton</a> is a smasher, a go-getter, a winner and, of course, a heck of a singer as well.<br /><br />Thanks to her, I have this opportunity to apologize to all and sundry for <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2006/07/mamma-mia.html">this post</a> of mine which had expressed doubt over the possibility of beauty and brains cohabitating in a specimen of the fairer sex. What once existed in my retarded mind as a theoretical probability, now takes the practical shape of Paris Hilton. She's got what it takes - a stunning face, a hot bod, fame, fortune, brains, the works. And on top of it all, she's blonde. To cut the crap out, she is the <span style="font-style: italic;">no.1 celebrity of the world</span>.<br /><br />I find it extremely heartening to note that after years of shedding clothes, Paris has finally shed her natural tendency towards self-denial and humility by openly declaring herself as an <a href="http://www.chinadaily.net/entertainment/2006-07/17/content_642652.htm">iconic blonde</a> (and a smart one at that). To be really honest, she has been a tad too modest again in describing herself merely as an iconic blonde of this decade. I would go one step further to proclaim that she's THE iconic woman. Af all time. <br /><br />In fact she even rivals the legendary <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helen">Helen</a>. As I have mentioned before, where Helen was the face that launched a thousand ships, Paris is the one to have launched a thousand (and still counting) nip slips.<br /><br />She is my heroine. She's my role model. She's the love of my life.<br /><br />Therefore, imagine my horror, when <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14332794/from/RS.4/">this shocking incident</a> came to be. Fortunately, unlike <a href="http://www.lyricsdir.com/paris-hilton-stars-are-blind-lyrics.html">the stars</a>, the gods are not blind. They ensured that she was administered a prompt and healthy dose of tetanus. <br /><br />Here are excerpts of a conversation between a traumatised Paris Hilton and her $800-an-hour psychiatrist.<br /><br />Paris (between sobs) : How could he do this to me?<br />Psychiatrist : Most abominable. Most repulsive.<br /><br />Paris : Boo-hoo-hoo.<br />Psychiatrist : Err, what was his name again?<br /><br />Paris : Boo-hoo-hoo.<br />Psychiatrist : What?<br /><br />Paris : Baby Luv.<br />Psychiatrist : I'm sorry?<br /><br />Paris : Baby Luv. But he doesn't love me anymore. Boo-hoo-hoo.<br />Psychiatrist : Err, is this the first time err, Baby Luv, attacked you?<br /><br />Paris (still wailing) : Yes, my baby Baby Luv was always so full of love before.<br />Psychiatrist : I see. So what was it that you were doing when he bit you?<br /><br />Paris : I was just frolicking with him.<br />Psychiatrist : You were doing err, what?<br /><br />Paris : Frolicking.<br />Psychiatrist : And then what happened?<br /><br />Paris : He got excited.<br />Psychiatrist : What exactly do you mean by <span style="font-style: italic;">he got excited</span>?<br /><br />Paris : You know, like when an <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electron_excitation">electron is excited</a> into moving to a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atomic_orbital">higher orbital</a>.<br />Psychiatrist : Oh<br /><br />Paris : How could he do this to me?<br />Psychiatrist : It may have something to do with <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncertainty_Principle">Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle</a> which states that given an iconic blonde and an exotic <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinkajou">kinkajou</a>, it is impossible to determine both the position as well as the momentum of the kinkajou's canines..<br /><br />Paris (rather indignantly) : Hey, that law's for an ionic bond and not for an iconic blonde.<br />Psychiatrist : Oh.<br /><br />Paris : What should I do now?<br />Psychiatrist : Why don't you go get yourself a nice boyfriend instead of a kinky kinkajou this time around?<br /><br />Paris : Oh no, doc. The boys are all so nasty. All they want to do is to have sex. <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14210469/">But you know how shy I am</a>.<br />Psychiatrist : True. True.<br /><br />Unfortunately, at this point, the hidden microphone (which was cheap and had been made in China) fizzled out. But not before reiterating some of those facets of Paris' personality that endear her to billions across the latitude and longitude of the planet - the love for our furry friends, the deep knowledge of physical chemistry, the self-effacing modesty. I wish my words could do her justice but, when confronted with the sheer iconism of Paris Hiltondom, they always fail me. All I can say is that she is the <span style="font-style: italic;">no.1 celebrity of the world</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Management Class : <a href="http://mentalbaba.blogspot.com/2004/06/news.html">News</a></span>mental babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11654783585210482525noreply@blogger.com0