Satoma Asadgamaya

In Memory

Migrated Datasets


Monday, June 26, 2006

About Billy

A Mental Baba production. (Unfortunately) Not starring Jack Nicholson.

In a distant land, there was once born a goat. Well, lots of goats are born in distant lands. But this particular goat was rather special. His precocious talent was evident right from the very beginning, when he exhibited an uncanny ability to head-butt the waist and nether regions of the drummers who had been summoned to herald the moment of epoch. To dispel notions that those endowed with outdated compilers may have, the moment when the head butted into the nether regions of the drummers was NOT the one of epoch (although it may have come pretty close).

It was quite an event. Again, the head-butt into the nether regions was not THE event (although it may have come pretty close). Three Jedi came from Coruscant in the east, following a star on a Jaguar XK, and paid due respect to the newborn. The first Jedi brought him a quaint little bell made of chalcopyrites. The second, who was more thoughtful, got him a she-goat (goats start pretty young). And the third, who was an idiot, got him a doughnut.

For you know, this was no ordinary goat. He was destined to become the greatest goat to have ever littered the third rock from the sun. Ordained Champion of Goats and King of the Caprine, he was bestowed with the kind of power that even the Jedi's Jag could only dream of.

In fact, the hack grapevine had it that he was the Next Big Thing. He was The Secret Weapon who would head-butt into the rather elusive nether regions of the Goddamned Pain In The Ass.
He was The Mighty Hero who would put an end to the Freaking Itch In The Nether Regions.

But sadly, as one can see, not everything is meant to be. A budding career has been head-butted, cruelly, smack in the nether regions.

The General of the Hircine Army suddenly finds himself as what he was never meant to be - a bakra.

But there are some yet who believe in his ability to head-butt his way into the nether regions of glory. There are some who will still salute The White Knight. There are some who believe that it was the Jedi who were out of line and not Billy.

May he receive a star (on second thought, make that five stars) on the walk of fame. May he appear on The Tonight Show. If at all he finds himself declared mutton, may he be served at The Table.

You know what, forget all that. How about Paris Hilton eulogising him for posterity in her next release The Jedi Are Blind.

They demoted Billy?
Dear me,how silly!
O Drinkers of Warm Beer,
Now it's pretty clear!

Some movies just have to end in anti-climaxes.

Management Class : News

mental baba 5:39 AM
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